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by drew

Sexy Haikus

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I really didn’t want to put the word “sexy” in the title as I know what kind of twitter spammers it attracts and I’m locked out of twitterfeed for some reason. But seriously, there’s no title that could better describe the lines of romance, true love, and intimacy that follow.

So without further ado, I give to you:

    Sexy Haikus

    Hey there, beautiful.
    You get me hot and riled.
    May I lick your feet?
    You know what they say,
    It’s not rape if you like it.
    One way to find out.
    You know who are weird?
    People into S&M.
    I’m one of those guys.
    We’d talk for hours,
    I thought I’d get to see her.
    Friggin’ Chris Hansen
    A strap-on? Really?
    Wait, what are you doing wi-
    HOLY CRAP, FEELINGS!
    What shall we do, love?
    Baby, the night is so young.
    Let’s break out the Risk.
    I met her last night,
    She was way too drunk to judge.
    Sexy times ahoy!
    “My nose. Your panties.”
    “What? Was it something I said?”
    No one understands.
    What? No protection?
    Wait a minute… Don’t worry,
    I’ve got the Glad Wrap.
    My my, she looks nice.
    I’ll woo her with courtesy.
    “Please take off your pants?”

    Hey there, beautiful.
    You get me hot and riled.
    May I lick your feet?

    You know what they say,
    It’s not rape if you like it.
    One way to find out.

    I love you so much.
    I mean this with all my heart.
    Psych! We’re breaking up.

    We’d talk for hours,
    I thought I’d get to see her.
    Friggin’ Chris Hansen.

    A strap-on? Really?
    Wait, what are you doing wi-
    HOLY CRAP, FEELINGS!

    What shall we do, love?
    Baby, the night is so young.
    Let’s break out the Risk.

    I met her last night,
    She was way too drunk to judge.
    Sexy times ahoy!

    “My nose. Your panties.”
    “What? Was it something I said?”
    No one understands.

    What? No protection?
    Wait a minute… Don’t worry,
    I’ve got the Glad Wrap.

    My my, she looks nice.
    I’ll woo her with courtesy.
    “Please take off your pants?”

    The Haikus are done.
    Seriously, they’re over.
    I hope you’re aroused.

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Written by Drew Wellman

09/11/2009 at 3:29 PM

Posted in Everything

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