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by drew

Posts Tagged ‘esp

5 things we’d better have by the end of the next decade or I’m seriously gonna lose my mind

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Every generation has a different view of the future, but people have been hoping for some things since the 20’s and humanity continues to drop the ball. Things like…

5) Space Elevators

Get this, according to Wikipedia, the technology for these things has existed since 1978. They’d even pay for themselves! After you get the elevator operational, just charge gratuitous amounts of money for people to have a couple hours in space. It worked for Richard Branson, and he hasn’t even taken anyone yet.

4) Spinal cord Bluetooth implants

This great idea belongs to Andy Ihnatko and would eliminate the need for printers, displays, keyboards, speakers, hell, basically everything needed for using your magical audio-visual communication and computation device today. Of course there’s the obvious security issues of your brain being open to wireless hacking, but there’s nothing in there that you haven’t already posted to twitter, facebook, and youtube.

3) The death of 3D

I don’t care what anyone says about 3D being “more realistic” or “the next big advancement in cinema/gaming.” They’re wrong. It isn’t. It hurts your eyes and causes visual overload. When I saw Avatar, (one word review: meh), I spent the whole time thinking how much I’d rather see the film in 2D, or at least a better film. Avatar’s problem was that the 3D made the already-pushing-it-in-terms-of-believability aliens lose all realism and turned them back into digital freaks. Also, particles in 3D are the most distracting thing ever; you’re trying to watch two characters converse but your eyes can’t lock down on one of the dozens of vertical planes in which movement occurs. Stupid flower petals/ashes/holy flying anemonae.

2) An Apple tablet

Seriously, Apple, get on that.

1) Laws against the stuff the 60’s people wanted

I know, personal jetpacks and time machines would be cool, but have you stopped to think about how impractical and dangerous those things would be? Time machines, if possible, have the dangers of paradoxes up the bum and jetpacks would need way too many safety features and airspace regulation. Don’t even get me started on artificial intelligence. Some of these things are just too dangerously powerful and powerfully dangerous to be created.

So on the whole, humanity as a whole has a lot of work to do over the next 10 years to keep me happy, which, admittedly, is probably not the best goal for the entire world to pursue.


Written by Drew Wellman

01/05/2010 at 6:23 PM

Posted in Everything

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I Might Be Psychic

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I know it sound a little weird, but at least 4 times today, I have made casual predictions that manifested themselves shortly after said prediction. One of those times, I seemed to read a guy’s mind. I might go before the Jedi Council, or maybe I’ll just take an online test or something.

I have also made a breakthrough in the study of Déjà vu. My hypothesis is that the people who experience it  simply lead boring, monotonous lives. Could I get someone to confirm this correlation?

Written by Drew Wellman

03/24/2009 at 4:33 PM

Posted in Everything

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